future, stuff.. blah
haven't been doing much lately. i have adopted doing the dishes everyday. isn't very exciting. i almost hate it. I hate the fact that the guys never bring back their dirty dishes. so.. it just piles up in their rooms and the day they decide to bring it back upstairs, there's a huge pile! and who has to wash it all?? me! The guys are really getting on my nerves. once, there was mold in one of the cups. it was really nasty. smelled gross too.
On the day that I'm moving Shawn is having practice all day, which kind of sucks.. since i wanted him to help my mom and i move in :P but I might bring my mom to see some of his scrimmage. maybe. ha ha, I am sooo excited to talk with Julie and hang out with her again, she is like my sister. I can't wait to make my jell-o deserts again. hang out in my room with Shawn. I want to hang out more at his place this year. i felt like i didn't get out enough last year. i hope his roommates aren't too 'out there'. That reminds me, i have to call my new roommates. i hope they are never there. :) i hope (a little) that my roommate drops out. then i will have the whole room free... two closets, 8 shelves.. wow.
I mainly want to see Shawn though.. I wish he was a little bit more like the cuddle type of guy. But a little distance isn't bad. what he said the other day was so sweet; he asked me what he could do to improve. he misses me.. sometimes i feel it when he speaks to me.. i think deep down (even though he may be denying it) he loves me. OR maybe I'm delusional. however, i don't think i am. I think he just doesn't say so because he's afraid of the commitment that is attached with that word. I think i am ready for 'the next step'. In my own little fantasy, i can imagine him and i in our own appartment. Then i get back to reality and realise that it would take a while before that could happen. If i get a job next summer, i'd need to work at least a few weeks before being able to afford a place. Then there's furniture and appliances.. food too. maybe in a few years when i get on my feet and out of college. and if we're still together (hopefully). he'll maybe be still in university by then, i don't really know. I should stop getting all my hopes up for the future.. it might not be as good as i imagine. plus a lot of stuff will happen.